My Sister

This morning I was reading all the blog posts my sister has ever posted from like 2004 -2011. It made me very happy to call her my sister. Back in 2004 my sister lived with me and she showed me this blog she made about my waking up to a bag full of my hair. Ever since that day I have been like I have to find that post again. There has to be more. It took me a couple of years but I found it. It was really mind blowing to read them. All her thoughts and experiences were really insightful. Things that I never knew happened to her and to me. Most of the stuff I don't even remember doing or happening. The things you learn wow! Wow I love the way my sister thinks she blows my mind. She has a style to her. I really like how she was saying that my bad brain was so smart that it began to kill off the good brain.  I don't think I ever realized what this put her though. I think I just trusted doctors to much that it never hit me that I could of died. I love going to hospitals. People actually care about me and honestly want me to be happy. My body and brain gets all tingly in a good way. Kind of like when you listen to a good song and it hits you in all the right spots and you get goosebumps. Reading all her posts made me really think about what I remember and who I remember coming to see me at the hospital.  I remember a time when I woke up to a soaking wet bed and hospital gown  because my IV came apart in the middle of the night (or so I think it was night) and I screamed for my mom. My moms boyfriend would always be there with her. I don't even want to think about him being all alone with me even though i know he was.  Then I remember when my sister sat next to my bed feeding me waffles or pancakes. It was really nice of her to do that while my mom and dad were just talking to each other. Then I remember my dad eating my food up on me. So again the majority of my memories all include her. She talked about this in her post but I remember this very clearly. Her friend Andrew would call us up just to say hi and check up with us. I remember a specific call my sister was standing to the left of my bed and she was on the phone with Andrew. Then she put the phone to my ear and he started talking to me and saying hi. I was probably not capable of having a conversation at least not one that went farther than HI and Bye. I have to wonder why I did not want to hug her though. It seemed kinda strange to me. I must have been on alot of drugs or something cause I don't know why I would not do that. I mean now the only thing I want to do is hug her all the time. I never heard half these things. I secretly think shes the only one who knows this stuff. Theres no way my dad or mom would know this. I wonder if my dad had to do drugs to get through all of this. Of course he did! He didn't stop til I was all better. Personally I think he quit then out of fear that I'd figure him out. I never knew that I was bleeding. Plus I totally forgot about how my eye had swollen to the point that I could barely see out of it.  I don't remember all this pain that she describes me being in. I know that the morphine sent me on some wild rides. I really cherished that yellow bucket that had to be left by the side of my bed. I remember the doctors shooting Tylenol up my IV. I can picture it because I ordered my Grandma Wilma Drink (OJ and white soda) when she came to give me the Tylenol. 

After I came home to my apt. It was very late at night so i had to go to bed.  Something very special happened that night. I was laying in my bed getting ready to sleep my lights were turned off I was under the covers. My sister came in to tuck me in and she knelt down by the side of my bed and said goodnight to me and that she loved me. This sense of safety and calmness rushed over me. I think it was that moment in time that I realized that she cared for me. Never felt such a thing before.

I think I looked cool with my hair half short and half long

Quite frankly I think I looked better here than i did with my hair buzzed off.

                    My sister made this for me when i was in the hospital. i still have it to this day.

She was a teacher at the time when she made this and she would tell me stories how she would talk about me with her class because they all wondered who this picture was for.

So I just have to say that my sister is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Shes better than not having seizures. Shes better than going to Alverno. If Wisconsin were to give Gays equal rights my sister would still be better! Shes just the most amazing thing ever. Shes the one thing that has always been there for me and figured out a way to show she cares even if it was from 1 hour , 6 hours or 30 hours away from me. I love her. Personally I think I knew she was my strength because I brought my USC hippo beanie baby with me to the hospital because she gave it to me. Not to mention I named it Jayme the Hippo. Nothing could possibly top how great it is to have her as my sister. Nothing! I love you Jayme. XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Jayme The Hippo